Showing Appreciation Reaps Rewards

Life goes by fast.  We work long hours, drive home, cook, help the kids with homework, clean-up, maybe get in an hour of T.V., collapse in bed. Morning comes and it’s off to the same old rat race. Because life’s hectic, we often don’t bother to realize how important our partner is, how much we cherish them.  We care, but we’re too tired and preoccupied to show much appreciation. 

There’s little time and we’re so glad to just get through the day unscathed, it rarely crosses our mind to say how much we love what our partner does for us.  Even when we’re thinking good thoughts (“He sure looks good in that color!”) we seldom say it out loud.  Showing appreciation is a crucial building block to a strong marriage; it’s like extra money in the bank that comes in handy when things get hard.  It smoothes over the rough spots and creates little islands of romance in everyday life.  It converts the humdrum into pleasant, small surprises and makes you feel “seen“ by each other.

Especially in hard economic times we tend to lose our sense of humor and easy affection; our playfulness dissolves into frowns and brusqueness. Our partner can become invisible to us, just someone who does things we take for granted.  Even at times when you’re not getting along, offering some gesture of appreciation can sometimes soften things.

Below are some important tips:  Remember: keep it simple and real.

  • Think of the first thing each day you’re grateful for “I love how you always get up first and make the coffee.” or “It’s nice that you always hug me goodbye.”
  • Call your partner from work (or home) to say something sweet. “I was thinking of how funny you were last night.” or “I was at break having a snack and I thought of you.”
  •  Find something nice to say about how your partner looks or what they’re wearing.
  • Put a love note in your partner’s laptop or lunch bag.
  •  Before going to sleep, hug your partner and tell them what a good parent they are or how you love to cuddle with them.
  • Let you partner know what you admire about them: they’re funny, smart, thoughtful, efficient, witty or kind. 

The more you do these and invent your own, the easier it gets to keep doing it.

The word “appreciate” comes from the Latin meaning to invoke a blessing on another. That says it all! To show your appreciation for your partner means to bless them, to asking the powers that be to shower your loved one with good wishes, good vibes, good luck. 

When you show appreciation you give a special, loving gift to your partner, a boost to their self-esteem, a shot in the arm. And what do you get? You get to feel good about yourself for making your partner feel good, and most likely, you, too, will receive loving gestures and words. Good begets good.

Showing appreciation is truly a magical ingredient for lasting love.

Call us at (707) 544-9000 and let us show you how you can heal the resentments from the past and create a more loving, close, healthy relationship that will last a lifetime.

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