"If I'm with the right partner, we'll never fight and passion will endure forever, right?" Couples ask us this as they struggle with ongoing disagreements and a sad lack of intimacy. They worry their relationship is irreparably damaged and that maybe, just maybe, they married the wrong person. How do you know you're with the right person?
The American divorce rate at 50% ( including second and third marriages) demonstrates the prevalent belief that it's better to split up and look for another partner than to continue to suffer the pain of being misunderstood or rejected; the grass is always greener elsewhere. Sometimes separation is the right step, but often staying together and working things through is the more fulfilling choice.
#1 You've put a lot of TIME and EFFORT into your relationship, you have nothing to lose by taking a little more time to take a closer look at HOW you relate together; you'll usually discover blind spots, ways you didn't realize you've contributed to misunderstandings and conflict, ways you can't see yourself. We can help you evaluate and think about what you are both doing to each other without really realizing it.
#2 Sometimes something is LACKING in your personal life: you're unhappy with work, your health is troubling you or you're anxious about your children. You might be haunted by financial fears or problems with parents or relatives. It's easy to heap these weighty issues onto your marriage, to blame your partner for your unhappiness or expect him or her to make you feel better. We can help you sort things out, think together about what is personal and what has to do with your partnership.
We will help you uncover what has been created between the two of you, what is aspects of the relationship are about yourself and what is about your partner and what you've created together. Through this we can help you evaluate whether you want to undo some of the thorny knots and stay together or decide the best path to separation. Either way, our guidance will help you to understand more deeply who you are and what you want.